15 Minutes or More

Sticky Post: I wrote this on December 30th, but wanted to leave it up as a Year in Review for the readers.

I never seem to accomplish near as much as I would like to, but I got more than I usually do done today. And so because I did put in as much effort as I could, here is my reward; 15 minutes of... well I'm not sure. I suppose a free write is in order. I've given so much structure to this blog, where I enjoy the activities I participate in, I do feel like it's straying away from it's original purpose. Reader response has been great. I had a feeling the predictability would draw people, and I am reminding myself that the reason I implemented the structured posting was because of school. Once the school year is out I'll be free to loosen things up a bit.

I am grateful for so much this year. One year ago, if someone had asked me if I would be in school in one year's time, I would have given a very cynical, "Heh, not likely," in response. I always knew that I would go... someday. But I dealt for so long with the feeling that the choices I'd made in life had placed me in an undefeatable rut, and that my aspirations were in conflict with the responsibilities I'd taken on. Every day that passed by had the distinct feeling of an unretrievable day that had not realized it's full potential. Right now, my education has little to do with my passions in life. Practicality has won out for now, as I pursue a business degree, something I swore as a kid I would never go after. Once I've graduated and established a good job, I plan to go back for my passions; linguistic anthropology, and Insha' Allah, museum curation. But it is encouraging that I am at least going.

I am grateful of course for the members of my family that show so much love and support in everything in my life. Mr. Muse and I are by no means perfect, and we certainly don't always show each other as much respect and support as the other deserves at times, but he is all in all, my knight in shining armor. We tolerate each other's faults because, well, we love each other. And over all that is the most precious thing either of us could ever ask to have in our lives, not to mention our mini-muses that make us swell with joy, and drive us up the wall by turns.

I am thankful that I came to Islam. It was a difficult decision, and is still sometimes a difficult journey, but over all it has been a positive change in my life, that is impossible to do justice to in a few short sentences.

I'm also grateful to my readers. Some of you have been with me since my old blog, and some are new to this Muse. But I appreciate all the feedback I get. So I'm going to highlight my favorite posts this year, in case you guys missed some.

1) A Journal Entry - I wrote this as an entry in my Journal one cold wintry night, last January, when I was dispatching taxi cabs.

2) Mirror Gazing - This short is about a character the Fiction Friday folks should be familiar with. I wonder if they can guess who it is.

3) A Field of Silken Green - This poem along with this one (not officially a part of the list since it was written in 1997) are two of my favorite ones that I have ever written.

4) Nocturnal - Another of my favorite pieces of poetry by myself.

5) Extraordinary - This is my take on super-heroes.

6) A Piece of Paper - I look back at this post, and find it is still accurate for today, with a few embellishments already received along the way.

7) 30 Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 30 - I am 27, rapidly approaching 28. I suppose I really should get to work on this one.

8) Continuing On - So much of my recovery and survival is documented through poetry. This is only one example from this year.

9) Blazing Crimson and Gold - I still remember the day I wrote this, and the thoughts that were going through my head as I walked to my van from campus. The trees were brilliant, and there seemed to be such a calm serenity in the air. You could feel the shift in season, and smell the earth as it seemed to slip into a gentle state of hibernation.

10) The Storm - Another poem. I realize I'm putting a lot of them up. In some way poetry states quite concisely an over-all state of being for me, or an on-going conflict. This one reflects on-going conflict.

11) Confessional Alphabet - This is probably one of my favorites because it is one of the most, and the least telling pieces of writing I composed this year. Yes... I'm a paradox, wrapped in an enigma, boxed in a mystery... or something lke that. (Personally I wonder if I'm not just plain crazy.)


12) Down This Road - I think this was my favorite Saturday Spin-a-Yarn.

Surprisingly it did not take much effeort to choose these, and I did not have any others I was dying to put on the list. Happy New Year's everyone. I'm taking my grateful and peacefully reflective self to bed now.